This past month I have spent a lot of time thinking "why am I eating this" before every sweet or salty snack that I crave. The answer for me is almost always : To get rid of how I am feeling in the moment.
Can you relate? Food has become a way for me to numb my feelings. The term "comfort food" rings a bell. Cue all the feelings of shame NOW! My mind was saying
- "You should know better, Gabrielle"
- "Stop eating your feelings"
- "Well there goes another 5 lbs. on the scale."
- "You better push yourself in your workout later to work this off"
If you're still reading, you're probably thinking "so, what do I do to fix this?
Now, I am in no way a therapist, but I do know that the more self aware you become, the more you can address the feelings you are hiding from.
One thing that has really helped me with my feelings of shame is trying to determine where the voice or thoughts in my head are coming from. Yes, they sound like me, but they aren't. They are words that other people have said to me in the past or media that was shoved down my throat on "how to have a hot bod" as a teenager.
When I find out where the voice is coming from, I journal and talk back to it. I have a full on fight with that limiting voice. I've even been bold enough to have a conversation out loud to it.
This separates myself from the thoughts. They don''t control me. When I remove myself from the thought's hold, I can see it for what it is. That's different for everyone, but once you can see the thought as a thought vs as YOUR thought, then it looses its power. That's when your healing can begin!
