I recently worked through a huge fear of mine : Flying. For me, it has to do with lack of control. Not being able to control the people on the plane or the plane itself. What if something bad happens? I have no control, so how will I survive?
It's been 4 years since I have taken a plane ride. I've cancelled trips, gotten to the airport and never boarded the plane, I have even had a panic attack and had to get off the plane.
Then I was given the opportunity to work on a show that filmed in Hawaii. Just a short 8 hour plane ride away, no big deal, right?
Wrong. I spent so much time preparing myself for this flight. I bought everything possible to buy for anxiety. I researched all the facts to give me a sense of control. Yet, when I got to the airport, I still felt EXACTLY the same.
My therapist said "what if you accepted that you will be on the plane with fear and anxiety?" I'd spent so much time trying to get rid of the feelings before flying that I didn't want to admit to myself that they would be there regardless. Old habits are hard to break right?
Here I am now, writing to you, in the air. The fear is still there. The anxiety is still there. I am still here. The only way out is through.
What I didn't realize was how much energy I was spending trying to avoid my fear. What I needed was to walk alongside it, get to the end, and realize I am still here. The fear didn't take me over. In fact, I became even stronger.
